“I’ve done so much living already and I’m not even halfway there”r

a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.
synonyms: wistfulness, longing/yearning/pining for the past, regret, sentimentality

Oh guys, I’m only 18 but I’m acting like a sentimental 80-year-old thinking back to the ‘good ol’ days’ when, in reality, they have only just begun. But I can’t help it. I’ve got myself into this nostalgic mindset and the only thing I can do is talk about my high school days with my friends and listen to my favourite band on repeat pretending I am 15 again – and yes, I know, it was only 3 and a half years ago, but it was a very long 3 and a half years ago.

I have written about sentimentality before on this blog, perhaps I live in the past too much, but I think that probably comes down to the fact I’m in a bit of a limbo stage of my life right now. I am just waiting around for my next stage of life to commence, with the added factor of working in my old high school. There is no escaping the slight longing to relive it all when you are surrounded by memories everyday. Deep, right?

This past week has been crazy. I’ve been helping backstage with the school production and although that probably comes with the connotations of a low-quality, pretty messy but endearing show, they are actually fairly high-quality, impressive shows. Which is partly why I found it very strange standing in the wings, singing along to the music. For me, the school productions were high school. So to come back as a member of staff and be so involved with one that I wasn’t on stage for just brought back floods of nostalgia and bucket loads of stage envy. Then, my favourite band released a new song so I of course binged listened to them, just like I used to when I was 14/15. Next I’ll be buying Kerrang! and asking for a side fringe again (I don’t suit a side fringe).

At the moment, I am going with this nostalgic state and embracing it for what it is. However, I think it is important to not get too stuck in reminiscence because of the fine line between that and its more dangerous synonym; regret. So to save myself from creeping into a ‘woe is me, I’ve not done enough with my life since high school’ slump, I’m going to look forward. Helping with the show has rekindled my love with the performing arts, so instead of wishing I had joined a theatre group, my task at uni is to get involved with something like a musical or play or dance show. As for the whole Muse binging session and internal crying because I didn’t get tickets for an intimate gig next week, I will look forward to their new album and look out for their tour dates which I’m sure will be announced soon. And instead of looking at all the pictures of my friends and I from years ago, I’ll take new pictures with them when they are back for Easter. How sweet.

Have a lovely weekend, and spoil your mum tomorrow.

On a slightly random note, I’ve been accepted to be a rep at Snowbombing Music Festival in Austria over Easter so be expecting an excited post about skiing, Fatboy Slim and lack of sleep in the near future.


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