19.

I’m taking some time to be a bit self indulgent. I have barely written a blogpost lately due to complete exhaustion from work, so I needed something easy to write about to get me back into the flow of things. Apparently that means writing about myself. Egotistical? Perhaps. Boring to read? Quite possibly. But relaxing to write? Very. And hey, it is my birthday after all.

It is 1.21am. I’d been planning on going to sleep an hour ago but my phone suddenly started buzzing as the annual flood of Facebook notifications came through.

My friends will agree that I can be a bit of a grump when it comes to birthdays. I think it stems mainly from the fact that I always feel a bit of a nuisance. My birthday lands at exam time and even now, when I am out of education (well, apart from the working in a school part) and have no exams to take, my friends are all stressing and revising. I don’t want to make people feel obliged to break off from their study to pay me attention for getting a bit older, and I certainly don’t want them to feel guilty when they can’t see me because of their busy schedule. But inevitably people do feel guilty. The curse of having wonderful friends, I suppose.

I’m not really a fan of the birthday attention either. Not because I’m shy, I’m definitely not shy, but because I never feel I’m showing how grateful I am enough. I just want to write them a letter, and bake them a cake, and give them a hug for showing me all this love. But usually I just get to give the hug, and that’s that.

I over think birthdays. I’ve tried to not do that as much this year. I’m just going to enjoy the day of feeling very overwhelmed and embrace it. Spend time with my family, spend time with my friends, eat cake. That’s what birthdays are about.

Night guys, sleep well x

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