Weird year. It has been a very weird year. I really can’t quite say whether it has been a good or bad year overall, but I suppose that is because things are never just black and white. I have never set myself resolutions before, but I feel like I should this year . Here are some of my silly reflections about 2014 – Get ready for a lot of rambling…
Studying Pays Off.
I have always been a geek and enjoyed studying and learning, but I have enjoyed it more than ever this year and studied like crazy for my final A-Level exams. I started the year with 4 university offers which soon became 5 (WHICH WAS CRAZY COOL), and after a bit of a rough time at AS level, I was feeling a lot better about my second year and was learning so many interesting things in my courses. Geography really got me back into current affairs, English got me reading more than ever and discovering writers who have got me ridiculously obsessed with metaphysical poetry (fun fact: I got pretty drunk when celebrating my 18th birthday and tried to get all of my friends to understand why metaphysical poetry could change their lives – I’m pretentious I know but John Donne is my main man… After Mr Wilde) and I got so much more confident with my French and was introduced to philosophy and French film. College (I should clarify, college in England is the school system prior to University) in general was a very fun experience for me, and I did a lot of things I am very proud of during my final months of college; and opening my results to see 2 A*s and a B in my A-Levels , and A* in an extended project that I really loved researching and writing, was one of the most relieving and happiest moments of my life.
New Year’s Resolution: Read at least 12 books. This number is very low, but the reason behind this is I want to read a lot of Russian literature next year (wish me luck), and I feel like they are worth about 5 books each in length and difficulty, right? I am pretty certain I will surpass this number, especially when I get to uni, so to make this more of a challenge I want to read at least 5 books in French, because I really do not read enough in the language I will be studying.
I Just Need to See the World.
This year has been a pretty good year in terms of travel – I got go to Vienna on an orchestral trip, London twice, each time with people I love lots, Amsterdam which was one of the best trips of my life – maybe the best – along with an interesting family holiday to Pembrokeshire (another fun fact: Scarlet fever is NOT fun, especially when you are trapped in a caravan in south Wales with it…) and trips to Bristol, Durham and Cardiff. But now I just yearn to travel more than ever – I am dying to just get out there and explore. My obsession with Europe has rocketed, and I cannot quite get over how much I loved Amsterdam. Amazing, amazing city.
New Year’s Resolution: Travel more. Specifically visit at least 5 countries next year.
Friendships and Relationships.
I’ve learnt that friendships and relationships are sometimes very hard. I’ve learnt that sometimes they are very easy. I’ve learnt that sometimes they can go from one to the other and back again. I have gone from being best friends with people, to not quite knowing where we are, and I am still struggling a bit with that at the moment. Most of my friends have gone to University this year and it feels like nothing has changed with so many of them, but there are few friendships that feel a little different, and I find it hard to really know what to feel about that. I’ve also been in love this year, and with that trusted another person very deeply, but then see the cracks show and felt alone and seen that relationship weaken, and eventually come to an end. That was really tough, and if I am quite honest, still is at times. Trying to rebuild a friendship from that is a very strange experience. But that makes it sound like I regret it all, which I certainly don’t – I have some wonderful memories, and some are the happiest memories I have. My friends mean the world to me, and I hope they know that.
New Year’s Resolution: Some stuff has been hard this year, but I have friends who have always been there and I want to return the favour. Be there for them, and try to not let things get too hard – it will all feel okay eventually.
Embracing the Unexpected.
If you had said to me a year ago that I would not be going to University in September 2014, I think I would have thought you were mad – and a bit creepy for knowing my future. If you had also said I would be teaching a GCSE I think I would have laughed in your face (mainly because the thought of a job after applying to hundreds seemed a bit impossible). I have been really lucky this year. For a while I felt very unlucky because of my rejection from Durham and the accommodation mess up in Bristol, but I don’t see it that way at all anymore. I am not someone who believes in fate, but I do believe in trying to make everything that is thrown at you an experience to learn from and try to make as positive as possible. I personally think being rejected from Durham and not having anywhere to live in Bristol this year was one of the best things that could of ever happened to me because I love my job, I love teaching and I feel like I have been thrown into a challenge that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I have also got a bit healthier recently (yeah, that is probably more to do with the fact I had no money for gym membership until a few months ago, but still) with going to the gym, DRINKING SO MANY SPINACH BASED DRINKS BECAUSE WE GOT A NUTRIBULLET AND IT IS AMAZING (I’m so obsessed with it) and thinking about what foods I eat a bit more.
Oh, and I started a blog.
New Year’s Resolutions: Keep going to the gym, staying healthy and feeling positive about myself – I haven’t felt good about the way I look properly for a long time, and I really want to be more positive about my body. Embrace whatever is thrown at me; I’ve already proven to myself that I can do that, so I don’t want to let that stop. Write at least 2 blog posts a month. I might fail at this, but I want to give it a go because I do enjoy it a lot.
Well, wasn’t that a journey? If you got through all that, I am very impressed and if I could give you a biscuit I definitely would. It really has been the weirdest and most emotional year of my life (aw, bless). Let’s hope 2015 is a fantastic year – I have a feeling it will be a very interesting one!
Happy New Year! 🙂